Top Ten Things to do when Miami comes to the Q:

Hi, everyone. More venting:

10. Buy a ticket, but don’t show up.

9. Boo The Traitor, Wade and Bosh every time they touch the ball. Don’t just boo The Traitor. They were all in on it.

8. Wear a Miami #6 replica that says “Wade’s Bitch” where The LBJerkoff’s name would be.

7. Sit with your back to the floor whenever The Traitor is at the free throw line.

6. Do the wave for the entire game: but when you stand up, you say “LeBron sucks,” or something similar, instead of the usual cheer.

5. Wear a Dan Gilbert mask.

4. Bring a sign that says: “Your real fans are Mo Williams fans now.” (Or insert your favorite real Cavalier.)

3. When The Traitor is at the free throw line, instead of “MVP,” yell “POS.”

2. Go as a couple: male wearing a Delonte West mask; female wearing a Gloria James mask.

And the number one thing to do when Miami comes to the Q:

1. Cheer for the Cavs like it’s Game Seven of the NBA Championship.


Also, someone had the idea for a great t-shirt: Picture of Judas Iscariot, Benedict Arnold and LeDickface. Caption: The Big Three.

Some ideas I have seen or heard about for the Witness sign on the building across from the Q:
1. Change witness to "Witless."
2. Change witness to "Winless."
3. Make a completely new sign with a noose around LeBum's neck. (I know: that would be accused of being racist. But we all know that it isn't. It's about LeBron.)
4. Best one: replace it with a picture of Josh Cribbs with the caption "True to my word."

Dwyane Wade has his bitch's back with Dan Gilbert

I have turned over the blog to the big dope. He is in rant mode, so it's either let him spew here or listen to it all weekend. I am hoping he gets it out of his system. By the way, there is still no word on whether I will undergo a name change. Since I am undergoing a neutralization surgery on Wednesday, perhaps that will be an opportune time to change my name. In the meantime, I wish the big dope would stop calling me "Traitor."

Dwyane Wade says, "I think I'm happy that I have the owner that I have here in Miami. I'm happy Micky Arison is my owner. I couldn't believe it [what Dan Gilbert, the Cavs' owner said]. I'm speechless. It's very unfortunate and I think it makes LeBron that much better about his decision."

What? He thinks that Micky Arison is a better owner than Dan Gilbert? Are you kidding? The Micky Arison whose strategy was to let the Miami Heat fall apart and play like crap for two years or more. The Micky Arison who did nothing to improve the team but in fact did everything in his power to make the Heat crap. The Micky Arison whose move was to position the Heat to have salary cap room to go after three (3!!!) top level superstar free agents in one year. That is unprecedented. And Gilbert does everything he can to help the Cavs win. And Gilbert was very successful, even if the Cavs didn't win the NBA Championship. That is not an easy thing to do. Newsflash: There are other teams trying to win it, too.

So Gilbert loses his superstar after doing everything in his power to keep him and Gilbert loses his rag. And that makes Arison a better owner. Let me ask you this, Dwyane: When did Arison ever lose a free agent of LeBron's ability? He traded Shaq to Phoenix at the end of Shaq's career. That was not a free agency loss and Shaq's skills had diminished by that point anyway. So Arison never had any reason to feel slighted. When did Arison ever take a player under his wing financially by introducing him to big names in the financial world, by getting him invited to places where not even the rich can go? Gilbert said he felt personally slighted by LeBron's actions yesterday and he has a right to feel that way, considering everything he has done for LeBron.

Some day we will find out that the Heat were overtly tampering with LeBron and Bosh; that Wade was basically the agent for the Heat front office. He pretended to be a free agent when all along he knew he was going to stay in Miami and he recruited LeBron and Bosh. It looks like it is just the three of them talking and that there is no front office involvement, but it was the Heat strategy from the beginning. I call for a Congressional investigation into NBA basketball and, specifically, the Heat and their actions over the last six months.

That is all.

S*** bag leaves Cleveland

Well, I sure am glad that the big dope named me after that POS LBJ. Now my only question is: Is he going to rename me? Or is he going to start calling me S***bag?

So, LBJ says, "I hope my real fans follow me to Miami."

Well, here's a news flash for you LeBron: the big dope was a Cavs fan before he was a LeBron fan. And he will be a Cavs fan tomorrow and next week and next year and when your career is nothing but a memory. You made being a Cavs fan fun, but only during the regular season.

The big dope says, "Good luck, LeBron. I hope that you do the same thing for Miami that you did for Cleveland: win lots of regular season games."

On the plus side, Cavs tickets just got easier to get. I'll be there for a few games next year.

Go Germany!

Tried my hand at a little footy in honor of the Germans wins against the bloody English and the ridiculous Argentinians. Finally time for a serious match tomorrow against the pre-tournament favorites. I think the Germans will win and it will be an all-northern European final. Sick and tired of hearing how the northern Europeans can't hold a candle to the Mediterranean types. We'll see tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy the vid.

Slept alone last night

For all my fans out there:



I am feeling great. But Reagan, on the other hand, is feeling a little under the weather. You probably can't tell from the picture. It looks like she is sleeping. But, trust me on this, at the moment that picture was taken, Reagan felt like butt warmed over.

I am hoping that she will be back home tonight so that I won't have to sleep alone again tonight. Hey, there's lots of weird noises outside that door every night. Reagan is pretty tough and is keeping me safe while I grow up.

Dinner Time!

Look at how good we are. We wait patiently (well, maybe not patiently, but we wait) at the top of the stairs ... a million miles from our bowls (well...). When the bowls have been filled, we are called. Watch what happens when the big dope says, "Reagan, go Irish. Bronwyn, go Cavs."

How about that? We each go to our own bowl. I am the best at that of course, because I go right past Reagan's bowl to get to mine. Isn't it incredible how I leave Reagan's food alone? Do you see the sweetheart in the background at the beginning of the video?

Wednesday Update

Here are some new pictures of me. The first picture is me with St. Francis and Reagan. Now, look closely at the picture. Which of us is the most photogenic? That's right. I feel bad for Reagan. She looks like such a dope.



Here are some pictures of just me and my favorite saint.

Burger King

The big dope went to Burger King yesterday.

What do you think he saw?



That's right. The president of the United States!

Which one is me?

Here is a picture that might show me with my brothers and sisters. Which one is me?

Daisy

I have been told that Bronwyn and I have a new cousin: Daisy.

Welcome, Daisy!



So, Bronwyn and I have decided that we would pool our money and buy a little welcome to the family gift for Daisy's big dope and sweetheart.

A Super Duper Pooper Scooper:




Now all you need is an extra large garbage can to hold it all.